Love, Robots

by | Feb 3, 2016

Robots. You either love them or fear them as one day they will overtake the human race Terminator style. I have mixed feelings about robots. They can do things humans cannot but I’ve got one foot in the paranoid camp for when they become self aware. For now, let’s show these cold circuit-boards some much needed love.

Having a website where people can comment on pages, it’s just a matter of time before a bot comes to fill my site with spam messages. It’s painfully obvious they weren’t written by a person, but some of the comments I admit are hilarious! From terrible grammar, to outdated references, to the complete bot form generated to make thousands of comment variations. Each special in its own repetitive way.

I’d like to share some of the best ones I’ve received just this morning. No idea why they all came at once like this, but it cheered me up while having my morning coffee. If nothing else, they are all very supportive of my blog|website. Almost like a digital cheerleading squad, just for me.

Enjoy the beautiful fail!

“Ahaa, its good discussion about this article here at this website, I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting here.”
Good to know.

“Hello! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to look it over.”
Total Gen X bot here.

“Shame on Google for not ranking this higher!”
I really wish this one was trying harder to get me a higher ranking.

“You sound very much like expert on this topic you talk of.”
You flatter me.

“Fantastic! I was not sure I should follow you but you have convinced me with this blog!”
Just like running for office.

“Simply want to say your article is as amazing.”
Thanks?

“Well with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post.”
So polite to ask first.

And finally… some excerpts from a form used by a bot. It must have had some bad code to paste all the comment options. Maybe robots like MadLibs too? The entire post was ten scrolls long, so here are some of the gems.

“I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.”

“{Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize|recognize|understand|recognize|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could} subscribe.”

“I {want to|wish to|desire to} read {more|even more} things about it!”

“{It’s|It is} {lovely|pretty|beautiful} {worth|value|price} {enough|sufficient} for me.”

“I am sure this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} has touched all the internet {users|people|viewers|visitors}, its really really {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} on building up new {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}.”

“Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys I’ve {incorporated||added|included} you guys to {|my|our||my personal|my own} blogroll.”